SPECIAL NOTE: This story does not have Evil Fred in it at all, this is more along the lines of what I normally write and is kind of sad.
TITLE: Anyone But Me: Not Again
AUTHOR: Annabelle
DISCLAIMER: I don't own them.  I just like to write.  Don't sue, please!
SUMMARY: Fred keeps praying for Wesley, will her prayers be answered?
DISTRIBUTION: FanFiction.Net, Hello World: Fan Fiction Is Fun, anyone else please ask first
RATING: PG
THANK YOUS: MeriBeth for being the best beta ever!

FEEDBACK:  Lots of it please!  Send to Annabelle_felicity@hotmail.com

Anyone But Me: Not Again
by Annabelle

Again I sat at his bedside. I was always sitting there. Somehow I managed to convince the hospital staff after a few weeks that I was Wesley's fiancée. It took a lot of work though, first because I didn't have a ring and second because I hadn't told them that I was engaged to him in the first place. I think they felt sorry for me though, because they saw me day after day come to visit him, cry for him, take care of him. Finally one day one of the doctors came in and told me that they found evidence that I was Wesley's fiancée in his wallet, they were sorry that it had taken them so long to look through his things but the hospital staff was really backed up. The whole point of it was though that now I was allowed to stay with Wesley over night and he was moved to a private room where they set up a small cot for me to sleep on.

When I woke up this morning I realized that today was my one-week anniversary of being Wesley's fiancée. Normally someone would be cheered by the fact that they had been engaged for a week and in a way I was, until I looked over at him lying in his bed unchanged from the pervious day. It was not like I expected for him to just wake up one day and say hi to me and ask me what I was doing there, I knew what his condition was serious but still there was a part of me that just hoped. There was no change though so I got up and kissed him good morning, mostly for show because you never know who is watching but I know Wesley wouldn't actually let me kiss him, and then I went into the small bathroom to take a quick shower.

The day droned on as it normally did. One of the nurses told me to go out for a bit, that she would watch him. So after a few minutes of trying to convince her that I didn't need to go anywhere she shooed me out of Wesley's room and into the elevator and I didn't even realize it until I was at the main floor of the hospital. I stood there switching my head between the door and the elevator for about five minutes before someone came up to me and asked me if I needed help. I told them no thank you and made a mad dash for the door but as soon as I was outside I kept looking from left to right because the simply truth was I had no where to go. I mean I could go to the hotel and start to move my stuff out, Angel had made it more than clear that because I was supporting Wesley I was no longer welcome, although he never actually did say that I knew that as how he felt. Or I could go to Wesley's and find a few more books to read to him. I just wasn't sure what I wanted to do and decided to just close my eyes and let my body take me where it wanted to go.

The hotel, I ended up in front of the hotel. For a while I just stood there looking at the doors trying to decide if I should bother to go in and then a familiar voice spoke from behind me.

"So are you just going to stand there all day," Lorne asked me.

"I was thinking about it," I turned around and looked at the baseball cap he had on his head that didn't match his clothes one bit. "I like your hat."

He grimaced at me. "Now I know it is not the most tasteful thing to go with this outfit but it does cover up the horns."

"I noticed," I nodded at him. "How are you Lorne?"

"Right now," he looked down at the ground, "feeling a little bit more than guilty." He looked back up at me. "I am so sorry Fred. I know what you want me to do, but I just can't."

I shook my head at him. "I know," I sighed. "I know how you all feel. And I wish to god that I didn't hate you all for it, because sometimes I feel the same way. But you know what, I just look at him lying there in his bed and I know, I just know that it is my fault, and please don't try to tell me otherwise."

"I wasn't gonna," Lorne smirked a little. "I blame myself sometimes too. I should have seen that something was up with him. I mean god if only we knew what was going on we could have helped him, and I get mad at myself of not seeing it. Then I think about how he beat me to a bloody pulp and I can't do nothing but hate him. I mean I just got these things fixed," he pointed to the horns under his cap. "I guess that's what makes me a demon." He sighed and then took my arm and started to pull me into the hotel. "Well I'm not going to let you stand out here all day. Come on inside and tell everyone the good news."

"What are you talking about?" I gave him a strange look.

"Fred, Fred, Fred," he chuckled. "You were humming ever so softly while you were standing there. I know that you are engaged to him."

"But I'm not," I protested. "I just told the hospital that and now they all believe that I am Wesley's fiancée."

"You're what!" Cordelia dropped the papers that she was holding and stood there looking at me with her mouth dropped open.

"I'm not," I tried to tell her.

"Don't lie, Fred," Lorne laughed at me. "You and I both know that it is true."

"But it isn't," I moaned. "It is only something that I-" Then I saw the look that Lorne was giving me and I realized what he was trying to do. If anyone from the hospital were too come here and ask the people here if I was really engaged to Wesley they would say no and my cover would be shot. "You are right," I sighed and looked at Lorne. "I am sorry I didn't tell you guys sooner. But Wesley and I are engaged."

"But he is in a," Cordy sputtered. "And you were dating. Okay what the hell is going on."

"Well," I choose my words very carefully because I saw Angel and Gunn come out from the office. "When Wesley and I were planning on leaving I knew that we would never come back and that in all likelihood that we would be posing as a family so I asked him about it and he said yes. Then I told them that I would not pretend to be his wife, so he asked me and I had to say yes, well because I didn't want to be living a lie." 'That almost sounds like the truth', I thought to myself, 'right?'

"So you were engaged to Wesley while you were dating me," Gunn fumed.

"For about a day," I glared at him. "We were suppose to leave the next and I didn't think that it would be that big a deal and when the hospital found out they let me stay with him over night so it is a good thing. Besides we aren't dating anymore so I don't see how that is an issue."

There was stone silence and everyone was looking at me. "Look I just came here to get my things," I looked at Angel. "I know you don't want me here anymore especially now knowing what you do so I am just going to go upstairs and pack up my stuff. I'll only be an hour, then I'll be gone and we never have to see or talk to each other again." I turned around and started to head up to my old room.

"Fred," Angel spoke.

"Please, Angel," I warned him. "I don't want to hear it. You don't want to be part of Wesley's life or mine that is fine. Just let me go and get my things."

"Fred, that wasn't," Angel stopped himself when Cordelia gave him a look. "Fine, whatever." He stormed off out of the lobby.

I didn't bother to stop him; I didn't feel like it. I just crawled my way up to my room and started to through stuff in the bags that I had from when my parents came to take me home. Quickly I worked through the room, taking what I wanted, leaving what I wouldn't need, when I was finally finished I moved to the bed and started to take off the sheets.

"So you are really going then," Cordy spoke from the doorway.

"I don't see as I have much of a choice," I didn't look at her just kept folding the sheets.

"He doesn't want you gone, you know," she tried. "He is rather fond of you, we all are."

"But could you stand to look at me knowing that I was in love with a man that you all hated," I retorted. "Could you really give us your best wishes without having to cross your fingers?"

"We want you to be happy," Cordy said.

I shook my head, "Just not with Wesley."

She did not say anything and I finished folding up the sheets and set them on the bed. Then I sat down and looked at her. "You know, if it was anyone but me I would actually believe that you wanted me to be happy."

"But I do," Cordy titled her head at me. "Fred, I know you love him, you just throw us a curve ball when you told us that you were engaged to him."

"I am not really," I looked down at my hands. "I am surprise Angel didn't sense it. The hospital just thinks that I am, I had to pretend with you guys in case they come and question you about it. I don't think they will but you never know."

She nodded. "I can see that I guess. Still though you should talk to Gunn and Angel." She gave me a sad look. "Fred, we don't want you out of our lives we just want to understand why you are doing this."

"Because I love him," I told her simply. "And because I am the only one around here, besides Lorne, who seems to be able to understand that what happened was everyone's fault, not just his." She didn't say anything because she had heard all of this before; she just looked at the ground. "Look," I said standing up and picking up my bags. "I have to get going. I told the nurse that I would be back as soon as I could." I walked out of the room and brushed past her. She looked at me like she wanted to say something but couldn't. "Goodbye Cordelia."

"Bye," she sniffled and then stocked off down the hallway. She was mad at me, I could sense that, but she was also very sad too. I wished at that moment that things didn't have to be the way there were but I knew that I had no other choice. I fumbled with my bags a bit and then walked downstairs. Lorne was nice enough to call a cab for me and helped me to carry my things out to it, but Gunn just kept glaring at me, not that I could blame him.

Once I got to Wesley's apartment I quickly set my things down and found a few books to take with me. I grabbed his keys and my purse and rushed out the door in time to check the bus back to the hospital. My fingers were crossed that soon the police would find Wesley's car and arrest Justine, but in all likelihood they would only find the car, still that would be better than nothing.

I got to the hospital pretty late; the sun was already setting. When I sat down next to Wesley, I couldn't believe that I had practically spent the whole day away from him. I saw him in the bed and started to cry.

"I am so sorry, Wesley," I whispered to him. "I didn't mean to be gone so long. I am sorry."

He didn't say anything, not that I expected him to but I needed for him to know that I was sorry. I held his hand for a while and then pulled out the book that I brought with me. "I brought you a new book today," I said softly to him. "I found it on your bookshelf and it looked just about as worn as A Midsummer Night's Dream so I figured that you would like it."

I carefully opened up A Tale Of Two Cities to the first page and started to read. "It was the best of times, it was the worst of times, it was the age of wisdom, it was the age of foolishness-"

"It was the epoch of belief, it was the epoch of incredulity, it was the season of Light, it was the season of Darkness," Angel finished the sentence from where he was standing. "Dickens, I met him one time. Nice guy."

I eyed him carefully. "What are you doing here?"

"Can I come in," he asked. I nodded and he moved inside and took a sit. "Look Fred," he started. "I came because there was something that I needed to tell you. That I should have told you back at the hotel but didn't because I got mad."

"Well," I prodded him.

"Fred," he took in a deep breath, even though Vampires didn't breathe. "Someone came by the other day. A lawyer, he was looking for you. It was about Wesley."

"What do you mean," my voice started to shake. "What about him?"

"I don't know," Angel shook his head. "He didn't say. He asked where Wesley was staying and I told him."

My heart stopped for a minute then I laughed. "It is probably nothing right? I mean it is probably just some guy that Wesley's mom sent to check on him."

"You're right," Angel forced a smile. "You're probably right." Then he looked at Wesley, "So how is he doing?"

"Why do you want to know," my voice turned bitter again.

"Fred," Angel looked at me. "I never wanted you to move out. Sure I am mad as all hell at Wes but I am not angry with you and I do understand where you are coming from. It is just going to take time, I lost so much and-"

He stopped and looked away. "Time," I sighed. "That's what they keep telling me. He will wake up; it is just going to take time. Don't worry; it will all be all right with time. I am so sick of that word. Time, what is it anyway."

"I don't know," Angel shook his head. He started to say something else but some man dressed suit came to Wesley's door.

"Are you Miss Winifred Burkle?" he asked me.

"Yes," I stood up and went over to shake his hand.

He took my hand briefly and then dropped it. Angel stood up and moved behind me, I could sense that he was starting to tense up. "I am Matthew Pierson, the Wyndham-Pryce's attorney from London."

"Nice to meet you," I said through gritted teeth.

"I understand that you are Mr. Wyndham-Pryce's fiancée," he gave me a look.

"We just got engaged before the accident," I gave him a firm look. "He didn't have time to make it official."

"Yes well the fact still remains that Mr. Wyndham-Pryce made up a living will," his voice softened a bit. "And from what I have been told by the hospital staff I am sorry to inform you that Mr. Wyndham-Pryce will be taken off life support at the end of the week."

My mouth dropped and I felt my knees go weak. The end of the week, at the end of the week Wesley would be taken off life support and then he would die. I felt Angel catch me but I hadn't even realized that I had started to fall. "This isn't happening," I closed my eyes and tears started to fall down my face. "Please tell me this isn't happening."


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